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People always say that the grass is greener on the other side, so what does that mean for being someone’s other half? The most intelligent response to that idea is that the grass is actually greener where it is watered! So, how does that translate into a marriage? I’ll tell you!

First, you have to figure out what your seedling needs to grow. In my marriage, being that it is a second marriage for both my husband and I, respect was an essential ingredient. We both had come out of our first marriages feeling disrespected and taken advantage of. We both had the same need for respect, and therefore knew how to provide each other with such respect. I have a tremendous amount of respect for my husband. He works full-time, is finishing his fourth degree in biochemistry, all the while coming home and still making me laugh and feel incredibly loved.

Second, you have to make sure that the surroundings are made for growing. You wouldn’t plant a delicate flower in the sand and expect it to grow, would you? You need to evaluate your relationship and make sure you are in the right place. My husband, daughter, and I live with my mother-in-law, brother-in-law, and his girlfriend. I don’t think I need to say this but, most women could not live with their mother-in-law. I just so happened to be blessed to have inherited a mother that I get along with very well. This situation works well for us. It allows us a much lower cost of living so we can pay off our debt. It also allows our daughter to develop a wonderful relationship with her grandma and the rest of the family.

Third, to keep your grass green and vibrant, it needs consistent care. In my relationship, we have a great line of communication, which I think is possibly the most important thing in a marriage. I make a point to always talk to my husband about how he is feeling, how I am feeling, what we want in the future, and how to get there. If we do have a disagreement, we are able to explain our different view and listen to each other, which more often than not results in one of us realizing that the other person’s view is a little better approach. Agree or disagree, we talk about it… a lot!

When it comes to tending to a growing marriage, you need to make sure you know what you both need, where you need to be to have room for growth, and continued love and care. When you are with the right person, you won’t be worried about the grass on the other side, you’ll be happy to be the other half of your spouses garden!